A Reflection from CSC Intern-in-Service Mark Levand following the Joplin service trip
We just went to Joplin, MO and saw some pretty intense broken houses. A lot of the debris was cleaned up, but there was still much chaos present. Broken houses, crap all over, chairs in yards, bikes in bushes, trees with no leaves...or branches - that was all pretty face-value. Broken was broken; that's it - it gets fixed or it doesn't. But one of the most interesting things I found was the way impact of this devastation on people's relationships.
There was an old couple who were married for some 35 odd years who had all of their possessions blown away and had minimal insurance. We talked for a bit and they seemed pretty high-spirited. That was cool. The more we talked the more I put my self in that position; I am with my wife, living my life normally and suddenly everything is gone. Ok, that's fine, all our possessions - furniture, pictures, family heirlooms, appliances, bed sheets, my collection of bottle caps, notes from my wife from 40 years ago, my favorite T-shirt, my assortment of medications, that one thing we brought home from our honeymoon that we had that inside joke about that would always make us laugh in the midst of our stressed, child-rearing lives - all gone. Ok, that's big, but they're still just things - it would be tough, but still it would be "just things." I still have my wife, whom I love more than anything that the tornado splintered and threw all over town. and we have nothing but each other.
At this moment, I thought of Kenny Chesney's song "Honey, would you stand by me?" in which his partner was asked if they would stand by him if "your coat was thin and your shoes were old" and if "you didn't have nothin' but boots and jeans, honey, would you stand by me?" I thought of how much more sense this song made when we are faced with this reality in our lives. There certainly are marriages that crumble because one or both parties cannot deal with the situation at hand. There are also couples that get to experience love in a different way. A love that was there all along but now making them feel safe and blessed in a way that has never before been realized. A love that can allow them to say "yeah, we have nothing, but we have each other." A saying that is often heard and used. Perhaps to the point of the listeners missing the gravity of the concept. The feeling of losing possessions is nothing compared to the feeling of losing that love and support which has allowed us to grow safely and securely. Conversely, the absence of the material things that we have accrued over our years together, makes the presence of all of the intangible realities that we have accrued over these many years all the more real - all the more indestructible - and all the more life-giving.
So my experience of the "devastation" throughout Joplin has been more joyous than anything else. Much has been lost - clothes, shelter, cars, canned goods, that drawer of ugly sweaters that we are obligated to have that we only open by accident only to realize that we never use them and wonder why we even have them in the drawer in the first place - many gathered objects through our lives. But much more has been revealed. The dedication, fidelity, and support of people. The love between many of the couples I had met was practically tangible. Their love was inexplicably evident.
I suppose this meant a lot to me because I will never be rich. I will likely be in a position of minimal necessities several times in my life. And the concept of having someone stand by me in those times is wonderful. I cannot wait for my wife and I to encounter life at its best and worst with the love we have for each other. I cannot wait for the times when we 'aint got nothin' but boots and jeans' but still love and support one another. I cannot wait for the opportunity to have a love that is not only comforting but also empowering; enabling us to be the best people we can be, together.
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