Johnny's Immaculate Conception Reflection

The following was written and delivered by intern Johnny Holloway as a reflection on Tuesday, December 7.

Friday evening I decided to go to another (not the CSC) church for Mass at 5:15.

I got in the habit of occasionally going to weekday Mass this summer, shortly after becoming Catholic. Maybe it was because of the St. Louis summer heat, but I liked how they served their communion wine chilled. It was refreshing in every possible sense.

I met Sandy (not her real name) during one of those first summer visits to SLU, and ours

has become an unlikely relationship. Sandy must be in her late 50s, although

she looks older. She has seven kids, all of whom have children of their own,

and she is jobless. She lives on $687 a month, and is hard pressed to pay the

bills, and buy food for her poorly educated family. She’s either incompetent

to work, or unwilling to, so each day she takes 2 buses from the crowded

home she shares with her children, down to the SLU area to beg for money and food.

I’m 23 years old, I’ve never been hungry for more than a few hours, and my

parents purchased the car that I drive and the degree I got from Wash U.

I don’t want to paint a romantic image of Sandy or make her out to look like a

saint. She’s not one. She knows how to get what she wants. Often she needs

a ride somewhere. She always manages to get herself down to SLU and

then complains about how much trouble it is for her to get back home on

the buses. “I’m broke down, I’m strugglin’ too much” is her refrain. After

seeing some of the places she’s asked me to take her in the past (the Section

8 housing office, her home, KFC), I’m becoming convinced that though she

has very real needs, more than anything, she just wants to go for a ride in a

car and to have someone to listen to her for a brief while.

Friday was the feast of St. Francis Xavier, a co-founder and patron of the

Jesuits. From the homily I learned that Francis was a smart student and a

good athlete, a man after my own heart. But he was frustrated by how many

good Catholics were content to sit around at Universities studying about

God, but were unwilling to go out and take the Good News to the people

of God through humble service. On top of this, I remembered John the

Baptist’s words from this Sunday, “Bear fruit as a sign of your repentance.”

With all these pious thoughts filling my mind, I left the chapel on a spiritual

high…and then I ran into Sandy. “Crap. I’m going to have to drive her

somewhere.”, I thought. “Maybe she won’t see me.” I started walking away

and only got a few steps before I heard her calling my name. I tried to be

firm and came up with something like “Sandy, you know I can’t give you a ride

anywhere”…but the truth was that I could, and she knew it. She reminded

me of how hard her life is, how cold she was, how she didn’t have any

money for a Christmas tree, let alone gifts for her children or grandchildren,

etc.…she wanted a ride home. How could I say no?

I drove her home…and found out that she only wanted to go there to check

her mail. Where she really needed to go, she then said, was to this other

place where her son was staying, so we arrived there…only so that she could

tell her son where she was actually wanting to go was this place in South

City, where there was heat and furniture... another detour.

I was angry, and Sandy knew it. She had lied to me, and I felt used. “This is not

cool Sandy, you knew where you needed to go before you asked me for a ride,

but you weren’t honest with me about it.”

“I know”, she said “but you wouldn’t have taken me otherwise.”

As we rode in silence to her friend’s place in South City, I could tell that Sandy

was feeling bad about the whole thing. She turned to me and said she was

sorry. She asked if I could forgive her so that we could start over fresh. I

thought about Christ on the Crucifix, and how despite having been used, His

love overflowed in Mercy and Forgiveness even on the Cross. It was also

clear to me after seeing how she lived, that Sandy was the one who was truly

being crucified in this life, not me. I swallowed hard and said “Yes Sandy, I

forgive you. And I’m sorry for trying to avoid you at Church.”

My “yes” did not lead me where I expected it to. It was actually very messy.

In fact, I think all of our “yeses” are pretty messy in some way, but I do

know that we will always meet God through them.

Brian's Immaculate Conception Reflection

The following was written and delivered by intern Brian Blosser as a reflection on Tuesday, December 7.

I have said YES to God in his call to continue to seek him, to not give up on the Divine. You see, for a number of years now, I have struggled with the question of whether or not God exists. I have struggled with whether my faith could stand up to my intellect and my skepticism. I have felt that there was as good a chance of God not existing as there was of God existing.

Emotionally, it’s not hard for me to imagine that I am talking to God in prayer, or thanking God in church, and there is so much I love in our Catholic tradition. However, intellectually, I ask myself questions all the time: Is our belief in God a product of human evolution that can be explained through evolutionary psychology or cultural evolution? Although God could be the source of all the universe and of evolution, it’s possible that he wasn’t, too. Is God necessary? Am I clinging to God because I need to believe in God, because I want to believe in God? Am I afraid I couldn’t handle a Godless world?

I have a brother who is atheist, and we have very lively conversations about what religious people believe, and whether or not those beliefs hold water. I think in addition to the intellectual standards I hold myself to, I often think of my brother in the back of my mind. Would he approve of my belief? Is it something that would stand up to his reasoning?

During last Spring semester, when I was deciding what I was going to do this year, I felt that the CSC was a place where I could explore these questions, explore whether or not God existed and if he did, what I could know about him. However, I worried that I wouldn’t fit in as an intern without a strong faith. During my interview for the CSC internship, I expressed my concern about fitting in to Troy and Sr. Linda. Sr. Linda’s response was, “Brian, the only thing that we ask is that you have an open mind, that you be open to God acting in your life just as much as you be open to God not existing.” It was a really powerful thing that she said.

I think I have said yes to God this year in that I have not stopped seeking: I have not stopped pursuing an understanding of God and the God question. I have been able to read several books about God which have intrigued me and given me hope: from a book that posited God as the source of moral progress, to a book which introduced me to eco-theology, to works of scholars in the field of science and religion, who are able to wrestle with the God question in light of what we know about the natural world through science.

In addition, in light of the openness requested by Troy and Sr. Linda, I have tried my best, with their loving encouragement, to learn from the diverse understandings of God of those around me. Although all of the understandings don’t always make sense to me, I recognize that they can hold much wisdom and value.

To be clear, I haven’t always been diligent in my seeking: there are times when laziness or lack of interest slows my search for God. There are also times when I let my mind close to others’ understandings and lose out on their wisdom. But I hope that when that happens I do my best to renew my commitment, to again say Yes and continue to seek an understanding of God.

Sarah's Immaculate Conception Reflection

The following was written and delivered by intern Sarah Ampleman as a reflection on Tuesday, December 7.

In many ways, the past spring and summer have been more of

a winter than anything else. There was a lot of stripping away,

of starkness; it was a time of hibernation in my own little cave

to sort things out.

You see, I had fallen in love, for the first time. Or really, I

had realized after the fact, when it was too late to do anything

about it, that I was in love. It was just two weeks after the

initial shock that it wasn’t going to work out with this person

that God decided to drop the “religious life” bomb on me.

Really God, you think NOW is the best time to ask me to think

about becoming a sister or nun?? It felt like I had been shown

everything I’d ever want, and then had it taken away from me,

like I’d never really be given it or anything like it, again. I was

still reeling from the blow that I wouldn’t have the chance to

know this man like I desired, but now felt completely knocked

out by the thought that maybe, I wouldn’t ever get to know any

man ever. It seemed like some kind of cruel joke –that I was

able to experience falling in love, but I’d never know its fruits.

I was bitter and angry at God. But underneath those

shallower emotions was fear. Fear of closing myself off to

potential relationships, of potential “happy endings.” Fear

because I knew I’d eventually be saying yes to God, because he

knew me best after all, and where else could I run and still be

happy? Fear because I’d never even considered the religious

life as a viable option and so had no framework at all of how

to think about and visualize the future. I was a strange mix of

depression at a seemingly bleak horizon of knowing I would

eventually be done with this heartbreak but for now I’d just

have to wait it out in the meantime, however long it took, and

yet somehow hopeful that God had plans for me and that I

knew just a little bit more of what they were.

It took a couple of painful months for me to say yes to

God to discern a call to the religious life. It was very humbling

and it involved a lot of letting go’s. I began to understand

what it meant to be stripped of everything: of all my plans,

of everything I want, of everything I love and cherish, to be

left with nothing --except the very best part of me that was

hidden deep down at the bottom –and giving this back to God.

Through this saying yes to God and the time spent in prayer

and asking myself hard questions, I grew to know more deeply

both myself and God, of what I could contribute to the world,

what my gifts were and my purpose.

Honestly, looking back on the last nine months, it’s been

the best part of my life. I have felt more alive, first from the

pain, but secondly, and more deeply, from an awakening to

who I really am, the affirmation of who God is calling me

to be and how He is giving me everything I need to be this

manifestation of love for others. After this winter, came a

spring and a new life.

While this ‘yes’ has not led me to a definitive answer

on what vocation God is calling me to, it has led to a better

awareness and attentiveness on my part of what God is doing

in my life, how he is preparing me little by little for what’s next,

and all the blessings of grace and growth that I couldn’t see

before, the richness of a life spent continually seeking a right

relationship with God and others.

Church Makes You Happier

Here's an interesting article that a CSC student shared with the staff. According to the article, people who attend Church are happier because the relationships they form at Church are more significant to them compared to relationships formed outside of Church communities.

Makes sense.

http://news.discovery.com/human/religion-happiness-social-bonds.html#mkcpgn=hknws1

Job Opportunity

Job Opportunity: Unpaid Internship at Trailnet

Looking for a spring internship? Have a passion for communications and a love of active living? Trailnet wants you! We are looking for a part-time communications intern to help with marketing efforts. Candidate should be a strong writer, creative, organized and able to commit approximately ten hours a week. This is an unpaid internship, but we will work to provide academic credit if applicable. If you'd like to be considered, e-mail your resume and a writing sample to jenny@trailnet.org. No phone calls please.

Job Seeker

Job Seeker: Third-Year Law Student

Information from the job seeker:

I am a third-year law student at Wash U. I will be graduating in May, and I am seeking an entry-level attorney position. My primary areas of interest are immigration and labor & employment law, but I am open to almost anything. In terms of location, I have been focusing my job search primarily on St. Louis, Chicago, and Dallas.

Contact Jamey at stegmaier@washucsc.org for more information.

Job Seeker

Effective today, the CSC will be posting jobs from job seekers and employers who are connected to the CSC in some way. For all jobs, please contact Jamey at stegmaier@washucsc.org for more information.

Job Seeker: Housekeeping Services in Exchange for a Room

A young woman ('10) is looking for a family to live with in exchange for housekeeping services: regular and thorough house-cleaning, laundry, trash, grocery shopping and other errands, pet-care, and/or light yard work and other chores. She needs her own room (furnished or unfurnished) and space in a bathroom. In her own words: "I see myself with either a family or an older person/couple that could use some company and an extra hand around the house and/or is out of town a lot and needs someone to keep an eye on the place. But I'm open to any situation. From what I understand, I'll be working most of the day Mon-Fri, but I have nights and weekends available. My first priority will be work with the company, but after that I'm totally willing to help with transportation, baby-sit, pet-sit, or sit on anything else that needs sitting. I'm neat, friendly, I go to bed early, and am cheerful in the mornings. I'm excellent with children (recent experience with infants, tons of experience with K-12) and pets and I have a lot of experience with house-cleaning. I'm very trustworthy, responsible, and a great respecter of privacy."

Employer: Statistician/Quantitative Psychologists

A community member's St. Louis-based company is hiring all levels of statisticians/analysts/quantitative psychologists/computational social scientists/economists for their Marketing Sciences Division.

Please contact Jamey for more information.

The Rose

The other day I was grocery shopping at Schnucks when I spotted a CSC community member walking in the opposite direction. I was on the phone, so we quickly shook hands and moved on, but not before I noticed that he was carrying a single longstem rose.

Now, I cannot presume to know who the rose was for, but I have a hunch that it was for his wife of 2 years. This gesture struck a chord with me--it showed me that he wasn't being complacent in his marriage. He was doing the little things to show his wife that he loves her now just as much as he loved her on the day of their marriage.

I think this applies really well not just to our family and friends, but also to our relationship with Jesus. Sometimes we can be complacent about the way we live spiritually, morally, ethically, lovingly. And maybe we snap out of that complacency with a grand gesture--a big donation or a day of service with the poor or a trip to Haiti.

But let's not forget the little roses of our lives. The small gestures--smiling at those around you, holding the door open for the person behind you, giving your waiter a break when he spills a drink.

What rose will you give today?

Roman Missal

On August 23, 2010 the complete new translation of the Roman Missal was approved for use. The US bishops have set the 1st Sunday of Advent, 2011, for implementation of the new translation. This translation includes many changes that will seem strange to most.

There is a new blog started on the changes to the missal and the implementation of those changes. You can follow it at http://www.americamagazine.org/blog/entry.cfm?blog_id=2&entry_id=3200

Feasts and Saints and Martyrs, Oh My!

For those who regularly read this blog, welcome! It's been a long time since our last post, but I thought I would let everybody know of a new feature on washucsc.org which is located under the main homily video, entitled "Saints". It is a chronological listing of all Roman Catholic patron saints, martyrs, canonized popes, and other feast days throughout each liturgical calendar year. I get this information from various sources, both online and offline. My hope is to share this rich source of information and devotion with the community to increase awareness and the education of the Catholic faith.

As usual, if you would like to write for this blog either regularly or irregularly, please contact Jamey Stegmaier at stegmaier@washucsc.org.

Thanks again and enjoy!

Erik

Benedict XVI

Community member Frank Freeman contributed the following entry and commentary to the CSC blog. (Interested in posting something to the blog? Contact Jamey at stegmaier@washucsc.org)

Vatican City

Easter Day, 2010

Pope Benedict XVI intended his Easter mass to act as a special reminder to the world that we are celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Second Vatican Council.

The bread used for the Eucharist was a special gift. It was intended to remind us of the Pope’s concerns for our environment. The bread was a form of hearth bread. It had been cooked just a week ago by a poor family living in a place where too much dumping had polluted the landfill. Many people suffered from diseases that come from the chemicals found in the mountains of trash. The bread was a simple gift. The family received no compensation. They understood that the pope was a holy person and that he would use it as a gift to the whole world.

The wine came from Poland. It was a special reminder of the Polish woman poet, Anna Swir. She was reconciled to the Catholic Church before her death. The wine recalls the poem she wrote as a war nurse when she risked her life for a dying soldier. Everyone attending the pope’s mass was given a souvenir bookmark. One side had a translation of the poem and the other a copy of the recipe used to make the hearth bread.

At the usual time for the “kiss of peace” ceremony, the Pope requested that the people present remain standing quietly while he embraced his fellow bishops at the altar. The Pope wanted his blessing to show his love and concern for the bishops of the whole world. Then the Pope was seated and put on his bishop’s hat, a pointed head gear. The Pope wanted to remind the world that he was the head of the “college of bishops” which is the worldwide organization by which the church is governed. Then to everyone’s surprise, 2700 white rose petal leaves fell from the ceiling. These represented the 2,700 bishops who attended the Second Vatican Council, fifty years ago.

Recipients were asked to respect the gift as a free gift and to preserve the petals as a souvenir. It was suggested that they not use the hearth bread for a mass. Simply share the bread with others or at a family meal to recall the meaning. Any bread used at mass should have the same values.

Respectfully submitted:

Marilynn Thomas, Journalism Student

Thomas Aquinas College

San Francisco, California, USA

Miss Thomas was selected by the staff at her college after the pope requested that this nominally conservative Catholic College be named to write the news report for this Easter Day mass.

Briefly: A Quicklook at the Papacy of Pope Benedict XVII

by Frank Freeman

April 14, 2010

By recognizing Anna Swir, the pope is implicitly recognizing that the Catholic Church is intrinsically a feminist organization. The “hearthbread” means that our outlook on humanity is the essentially same as that of National Geographic Magazine. It is sweetened with the nearly universal experience of Christian ministries: those that go to give help to the very poor come back enlivened. The experience is that of being given to.

I hope that these brief notes help. Previous popes have had a different, more conservative, stereotyped and distanced outlook. And their previous ministries have distanced themselves from the inner qualities of the lives of the people that they served.

At one time, the people of Poland classified the poetry of Anna Swir as “existentialist.” She used a robust form of Polish and her translators mistook it for existentialism. It is primarily her war record as an army nurse that makes her poetry universal. To the pope, the universal quality, she helped injured soldiers with their death, is a part of our faith; and he honors her for it. He also calls attention to the universal in feminism. Her life of service is explicit universal feminism.

The restoration of the “college of bishops” gives the church a mechanism by which the universal in human beings can be recognized. Previous popes saw the mass wine as “existentially wine” and did not relate it to actual personal experiences. In this case, it is a life that overcomes death. By opening the door of our faith, the pope has given fresh life to his church.

How does the last supper relate to the Passover?

By Sr. Linda Straub, CSJ

Most Christians believe that on the night before His death Jesus gathered with his disciples to eat the Passover meal. But there is debate whether Jesus was eating a Passover meal or another Jewish ritual meal on the night before he died. Three gospels say it was the Passover but John's gospel states that Passover was on the day he died. No matter if it was the actual day of Passover it was the Paschal season and what is clear is that the early Christians saw a direct connection between the Last Supper and Passover.

Two important ritual elements that begin and conclude the meal, bread and wine, are found in all the Jewish religious meals; at Passover the bread is unleavened. It is particularly in the Passover seder that we discover the importance of remembrance (anamnesis). The purpose of anamnesis is not simply to recall the past events where in God acted on our behalf but through the act of remembering, in the context of blessing, to insert the assembly once more into the "power stream" of Adonai's continuous call to the people Israel. There will be nothing surprising then, in Jesus command to his disciples to "do this" in anamnesis of him. This is not just a recalling what he did but actually to make the event present again. Each time we celebrate Eucharist the last supper is made present to us again.

Look at the sheet on the comparison of the Passover meal and the last supper. Notice in both ritual an initial cup is blessed. Then there is a blessing of the bread, the meal and then thanksgiving over the second cup. When Jesus blessed the bread he said: "This is my body. Do this in memory of me." After the meal he blessed the cup and said, "this cup is the new covenant in my blood".

I would like to share with you the meaning of what Jesus did that night for those who believe in him. Jesus transformed the bread and wine into his body and blood. When we gather at Eucharist and the priest blesses the bread and the wine it becomes the real presence of Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit. The technical name given to this action is transubstantiation. This explanation of the real presence of Jesus in the form of bread and wine was first used in medieval times, by St. Thomas Aquinas. Using Aristotelian terms, how he described transubstantiation was the accidents, the physical properties are the same, the essence has changed. It still looks like bread and wine, taste like bread and wine but it is substantially different.

Let me give you an example. If you have a loaf of bread and let it sit out on the counter for a few weeks it gets really hard. After a month it is solid. Let's say you use it as a doorstop to keep the door open. Is it still bread? Can you eat it? It still looks like bread and under a microscope it would have the properties of bread but it is no longer edible. In fact it has been changed essentially. The being-ness of the thing is different. This is a rough comparison to what happens to the bread and wine at mass. The community remembers what happened on the night before Jesus died, they give thanks, they call upon the Holy Spirit to bless the bread and the priests prays the words Jesus said, "This is my body, this is my blood." Through this action the bread and wine is transformed into the body and blood of Jesus. This is a matter of faith. There is no explanation outside of faith and the word of Jesus. For Catholics this is most significant, for although the bread and wine retain their physical forms, they have truly become Jesus' body and blood, nourishing us to live as his disciples. And having received Jesus' very body and blood into ourselves we are to be Jesus for the world, we are to go forth and live his message of unifying love.

How does the last supper relate to Passover? For Jews the Passover is a celebration of the Exodus. It is a feast of liberation, rejoicing in God's wondrous acts on their behalf that set them free from slavery. Christians celebrate Jesus' passing through death to the new life every year in the great three days we call Triduum: Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter. This is the closest Christian parallel to Passover. The meaning of the Passover meal and meaning of the Eucharistic meal are related. Our God is a God of freedom and life. Both Christians and Jews celebrate God’s saving love and thus commit themselves to imitating that love. That's the deepest meaning of both Passover and Eucharist.

When was the last time you had some Son?

Lately, it has been cold, snowy, and very cloudy. Not a good combination in order to keep spirits up and optimistic. On top of that, yesterday was Ash Wednesday...where we begin a journey with Christ in suffering, prayer, fasting, alms giving, and life in the desert.

We need some sort of spiritual nourishment. We need God in this time more than ever.

At the CSC, there is a GREAT opportunity every Wednesday night at 8 p.m. for Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Eucharistic Adoration, if you are not sure, is where the true presence-the real presence-of Christ is right in front of us through the consecrated host. The consecrated host is in what is called a monstrance that is placed on the altar for individuals to come and worship and pray. The monstrance is like a stand that is normally made of gold that can be in the shape of a cross, sun, or some combination of both. This experience can be in silence, with praise and worship, during liturgy of the hours, and several other occasions. At the CSC we incorporate some silence as well as praise and worship music.

I really like to think of it as "Son Bathing." Here you are, just you and Christ and he sends out His rays of love and openness to us. The Son of God offers warmth and comfort to those who come to Him. A friend from college used to tell me how he would like to sit in the back with his arms stretched out on the pew back and literally feel the warmth of Christ's presence.

I invite you to take this Lenten Season and come to Eucharistic Adoration with us. We are asked 3 things of Lent including prayer. This is a great opportunity to increase your prayer life and grow with Christ on this journey.

Troy and Emma Had a Baby!

Troy and Emma Woytek gave birth to a healthy, 7lbs 8oz baby girl on Sunday at 1:19 pm. Please join us in congratulating the two of them for their first daughter, Felicity Ann Woytek, and keep them in your prayers as they embark on this new journey of family.