What to Say to Someone Who Is Sick

Fr. Gary recently gave a homily about what to say (and not to say) to someone who is sick. New CSC intern Matt Schwab typed up some of the advice from that homily for your benefit:

What you should say:

1) "Don't write me back"

Sick people should be able to just receive love and kindness without having to worry about keeping people informed.

2) "I'll be going now"

Sick people are sick. They don't feel well, but they still feel the need to entertain their guests. Don't stay too long. If you offer to leave, but they want you to stay, the sick person will tell you to stay.

3) "I don't know what to say to you right now"

Honestly is the most real way to show them you care. Being at a loss for words opens up lines of connection beyond words such as a glance or just physical closeness.

4) "Please pray for me" 

As you are leaving, ask the sick person to pray for you. You probably need it, and they are truly closer to God than you are. It also helps them to look outward a little, to feel as if they still have something to offer the world.

5) "I just care about how you are." or "I love you"

nothing fancy, just real, honest emotion

What not to say:

1) "Everything will be ok"

You don't know that, and it is an unfair assumption to make.

2) "You look great"

They will think/know it is a lie and wonder why you are fixated on their appearance.

3) "I'm sure God did this for a reason."

God does not cause harm or suffering. God has no part in death.

4) "Be strong"

Most people say this because they are uncomfortable with crying or sadness. The sick person has a right to not be strong.

5) "I know just how you feel"

You don't and can't.