The Link

One of my favorite parts about Mass and the CSC is the Lord's Prayer. At Mass this past weekend, I looked up and was reminded that at the CSC, people link hands across the aisle, creating one seamless chain throughout the entire church. For that minute that we spend praying, we're all linked together. We're all one body in Christ.

The next time you're praying the Lord's Prayer at mass, look around at the congregation. You are linked to every single person in the chapel at that moment, sharing words that have been passed on from generation to generation for thousands of years. It's an incredible feeling, to be so connected to so many people.

Teambuilding with Eggs

I put together a little teambuilding exercise for the staff on Tuesday. I gathered the staff together and presented them with two eggs, and I asked them to achieve the impossible (as they attempt to do every year with the students--some very fragile, some not as much):

I asked them to drop an egg from the third floor onto concrete and prevent it from breaking.

The guidelines were simple: The egg had to be dropped by me, an impartial party, and it had to land on the concrete. The only tools they had were as follows, and they were to be used to created some sort of structure around the egg to prevent it from breaking:

One sheet of 8.5 x 11 paper
A small piece of duct tape and a small piece of blue tape
Two paper clips
A foot of ribbon.
A small paper plate
A rubber band
A business card
Two coffee straws

We divided into two teams, but interestingly enough, they decided not to be competitive with each other. Rather, everyone decided they wanted to save the eggs. They just thought that working in smaller groups would prove more productive than working in one big group.

In the end, one egg shattered on impact, while the other barely cracked. The trick is that even though your instinct is to protect the egg--securely wrapping it in paper and tape--what you really want to do is reduce the velocity of the drop. That's what makes the biggest difference. Comparing it to our ministry, I'd say that we try to bring out the gifts in students and young adults that give them the abilities to be whole in the post-collegiate world, not find temporary fixes that aren't going to help them in the long run.

We also had a great discussion over lunch following this exercise. We talked about working in teams and how positive energy can provide a team with a much better result than if even one team member comes in with a negative attitude. We also talked about possible solutions we can use to teach students and young adults whose default attitude is more negative to recognize that and start to diffuse it.

All in all, I think everyone enjoyed this egg drop teambuilding activity.

A Message from the 2009 Newman Gala Co-Chairs

By now you’ve likely heard about the annual Newman Gala. Many of you have attended the Gala in previous years. As the 2009 Gala Chairs, we hope to see you at the Gala this year, when we’ll share a wonderful evening of community and fellowship in support of the CSC. If you’ve never attended the Newman Gala, please know that you are welcome and encouraged to join us on Saturday, October 10th.

The CSC holds a special place in our hearts. We have been members of the Washington University Newman community for fourteen years, first as undergraduate students, then as graduate students and young adults (in Melissa’s case, a former intern-in-service), and now as supporters of the CSC. In our time as community members, we have benefited from some of the greatest experiences of our lives. We both grew up at the CSC in our student days – attending and later leading retreats, participating in service trips, organizing social functions, and meeting lifelong friends. We met at the CSC. We got married at the CSC. We named our first born son after Fr. Gary. Well, not actually, although he did encourage the idea more than once.

Having received so much from the CSC in our time as students, we have always wanted to give back and make sure that future generations of students could experience the same type support, friendship, and affirmation that we received in our journey of faith, growth, and discovery. We can never do enough to achieve that goal, but we can always try. In the years since graduation, giving back has taken many forms, but our favorite way continues to involve attending and volunteering for service at the Gala. It’s an event that we look forward to each year.

To us, though, the Gala is more than just a one-night event. And it is more than just an annual fundraiser. It is a celebration of community and an affirmation that hundreds of people believe in and support the CSC’s mission. The Gala doesn’t come together overnight, and it doesn’t stop when the music ends and the lights are turned off in the ballroom. It is the culmination of countless gifts contributed by numerous people – the various committees who organize and plan the event, the many individuals who procure auction items, the students and adults who volunteer on the night of the event, and the supporters of the community who generously contribute financial resources. The Gala continues after the evening has ended, too – when mass is celebrated at the CSC the next day, when a student in search of support finds a home at the CSC, when a young adult joins with other CSC community members in service halfway around the world. These things can occur because of the outpouring of support at the Gala.

So, while the Gala is still months away, we hope that you can reflect in the coming months on the countless experiences at the CSC that would not have been possible without the success of past Gala events, and at the same time consider joining us for an evening of celebration on October 10^th.

Sincerely,

Melissa and Bob Zaegel

Are you a duck?

Have you ever heard someone say, "It's water off a duck's back"?

I have always loved the phrase because it speaks of a self-integrity not willing to be compromised by outside forces. I wonder if Jesus came back from his forty days of temptation in the desert and said to his Apostles, "Yea, that was really tough... really tough. But, hey, it's water off a duck's back, right?" Or maybe, when people scoffed at his miracles and criticized him for doing God's work on the Sabbath, he thought to himself, "Gosh, I was just trying to help that man walk, didn't mean to be offensive - well, it's all water off a duck's back, and I'm glad my brother can walk now." Or even in the good moments, like his entry into Jerusalem when people were shouting 'Hosanna' and praising him for the royal king they thought he'd be; perhaps even then he prayed, "God, it's water off a duck's back. Part of me would love to bask in this adulation and maintain it, but I've got serious work to do for you. I have to remember who I am."

So, are you a duck? Do you shed distractions from God the way that a duck sheds water?

I don't mean to promote imperviousness as a kind of stubbornness or self-righteousness; it's all too easy to fall into an attitude, which is not at all holy, of "I'm right and I don't care what anybody thinks, because I'm right." Rather, I mean the kind of imperviousness that maintains our core identity as holy creations. This is something that should be protected and defended, and sometimes it takes self-confidence to hold true to our best selves.

Today, for example, would have been a good day for me to be a Catholic duck. This afternoon my Dad was in a bad mood, which, of course, happens to all of us at some point or another. But he was being just awful to my mom, and then kept baiting me about being Catholic and kept hounding me on the issue of my conversion last year, angry about various positions the Catholic church has taken on topics like the death penalty .... on and on, kept following me around yelling in my face no matter where I tried to find a place to study in the house. I'm normally pretty good at tuning stuff out and staying serene on the inside, but for some reason, today I just felt unbearably frustrated and couldn't keep it at bay. I walked out the door and walked around my neighborhood for about an hour, shaking because I was so mad.

I imagine that hell is having the worst brought out in us. Hell is probably the agony of being reduced to our worst, most impatient, most frustrated, most stupid selves. On my walk this afternoon, I was nothing more than a creature of irritation, rended into anger by a stupid situation; now it was me who was in a bad mood. It was a long while before I was able to regain my calm and sense anything like a soul within me. And to think that I let my soul get so unsettled and hateful, so utterly unholy, by jibes against my Catholicism! How ironic. Where was the solid Catholic duck that stays loyal to its own holy dignity no matter what? Where was the solid Catholic duck that keeps its soul in love with the God who is Love, no matter what?

Anything that would trickle into our souls and divert us from the heart of God should be shed like a duck sheds water. It's not wrong to feel irritated or frustrated in a passing way, but our beings, on the level of heart and soul and identity, must be unshakeably sealed in Love.

A prayer:
Dear God, thank you for life. Please seal us in your holy integrity, so that, no matter what situations we find ourselves in, we can always be true to ourselves in you. You have called us to be holy in many contexts - happiness, worry, growth, defense, support, joy, criticism, etc. - so help us remember that these are only contexts and not the substance of our Love. St. Paul wrote, "I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances, I have learned the secret of being well fed and going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through the One who strengthens me." So strengthen us, God, and seal yourself within our hearts. Thanks! Amen.

Finding Work Without Losing Heart

My aunt, a nun in Philadelphia, sent me a link to a free e-book that a priest friend of hers wrote a while back. If you check it out, feel free to post a comment below.

http://www.sju.edu/academics/hsb/resources/findingwork/index.html

New Website

If you're reading this blog, you're probably looking at the new CSC website (beta version). Erik Buschardt, CSC webmaster, has been working on the new site for several months now, and I think he's done a fantastic job in reconfiguring the site.

Our mission when revamping the site was to find the optimal way to connect with more people more often. We're all about connection here at the CSC--connection through spiritual sharing, through mass, through discussions, through debates, through hugs--why should our technology be any different?

We decided that we wanted to simplify the user experience and put content that changes on a daily basis (announcements, calendar, blog) on the home page. More static content--important stuff that rarely changes--can be found by clicking the links on the left. Depending on the size of your computer monitor, you may be able to see the entire home page without scrolling at all.

Of course, the project isn't complete until we get user feedback. Let us know what you think of the new site. Is something really hard to find or counterintuitive? Let us know. Should something be bigger or smaller or more colorful? Let us know. Does something appear a little off on your browser? Let us know.

E-mail me with your feedback at stegmaier@washucsc.org.

Contest

My aunt, who is a nun in Philadelphia, sent me this information about a contest that might be of interest to you spiritual writers out there. It's sponsored by a publisher called Paraclete Press, and the prizes are large gift certificates to the company's books and products. If you win, let us know so we can link to it on this blog!

Jesus taught in parables, and as Peter Rollins (a Paralete author) says, "Parables do not seek to change our minds but rather to change our hearts." Do you have a truth you feel must be told? Do you have a parable to tell? Here's what you do: 1. Read the sample parable from Rollins' book (click here). 2. Craft your own, original parable, communicating truth from your own life of faith. Parables may be anywhere from 100 to 1000 words in length. 3. Send your entries to ellen@paracletepress.com no later than August 1, 2009. All entries will be read and judged by Peter Rollins and winners announced on or before September 1, 2009. (see below for prizes) Paraclete Press may post the parables of both winners and contestants on our website anytime after September 1, 2009.

Leap of Faith

The third and final article on my adoption--this time from my parents' perspective--has been published on Crosswalk.com. There are links to the first and second parts on the article in case you haven't read those.

http://www.crosswalk.com/parenting/11603222/

The CSC in the Post-Dispatch

The CSC is mentioned several times in today's St. Louis Post-Dispatch. The article, entitled, "Stretching Physical and Spiritual Muscles," mentioned the recent Yoga stations the CSC hosted:

"Last month, students performed yoga while praying to the Stations of the Cross at Washington University's Catholic Student Center."

Later in the article, the CSC was mentioned again, complete with several quotes from Fr. Gary:

The Rev. Gary Braun, director of the Catholic Student Center at Washington University, has watched the number of students who show up for Stations of the Cross dwindle to three or four. He said he's concerned that young people don't see God in suffering. He said they'd rather avoid acknowledging their own suffering by engaging in risky behaviors, such as drinking. 

So he cast about for something new and appealing that would mesh well with the Lenten devotion. He kept hearing students talk about yoga and came up with the idea of doing a different pose while praying to each of the 14 Stations of the Cross as they were projected on a screen. Braun was stunned when more than 40 students showed up to participate.

"It blew us away," he said. "The parishes around the neighborhood asked us to do it for them next year." 

A company has approached Braun about making a video of the poses so people can do it in their homes. 

Braun stresses that he's not proselytizing, but merely wooing young Catholics to the devotion. He hopes they walk away with a better sense of Jesus Christ's suffering, he said. 

"Yoga is about being present, and there's a pain in the body to hold the pose," Braun said. "It's amazingly visceral."

Lessons from the Interns

Gabe and Rachel, the CSC interns for the 2008-09 school year, spoke during a segment of the homily at Tuesday's Mass. They each had a lot to share, but I thought I'd pull one thought from each of them that stood out to me. The Gospel question was, "What have you learned this year?"

Gabe shared how he has gotten better at accepting help this year, and he offered some insight on how to do that. A struggle he has--that a lot of people have--is believing someone when they offer help. We don't know if they really mean it. So Gabe has come up with a theory that you should always accept offers of help because (a) if the person genuinely wants to help you, then they'll feel good after helping you or (b) if the person doesn't actually want to help you, accepting their disingenuous help will teach them not to offer help when they don't mean it.

Rachel shared how she has learned how to offer prayers of gratitude this year. She said in the past she would mix thankful prayers with "wishful" prayers, So she wasn't able to embody the gratitude as she was praying. She decided to name specific names and things she's grateful for, as well as gifts that God gave her. It became an exercise in intentional prayer focused on specific examples in her life and what those things mean to her (instead of thanking God in general for all of your gifts or blessings).

Have you felt the heartache of God's love supreme?

I find myself losing the proximity of some beloved friends as this year comes to a close, and the pain of this has surprised me. Especially in a college setting, people move away and shift to new chapters of life all the time; often these are wholesome shifts to hopeful futures... So why does this hurt so, so much? Why does heartache increase the more you care about a friend? And why is there divinity in this kind of bittersweet?

A couple of years ago, I don't think I was capable of missing people as I do now. I interacted with people and wanted what was best for them, but because I was focused solely on the anthropology of it, I rarely wondered what actually constituted the essence of friendship. I figured that its degrees of meaningfulness and permanence probably had to do with personality type and the pragmatics of daily life. But during my time at the CSC, I've found that deep friendship is a phenomenon which can't be fully explained with a sociology of interaction. The friendships that matter and last are those that have a divine dynamic while remaining completely rooted in the personal and relational reality.

Humanity has an inherent need to understand and be understood with the depth of God - in short, to find a 'love supreme'. I remember when Robbie Williams' single by that title topped the charts in 2000. The song's bathos bothered me, but I couldn't help recognizing that it voiced something true about people's need for intimacy: Oh, it seemed forever stopped today, all the lonely hearts in London caught a plane and flew away... Oh, what are you really looking for? All the places you have been, trying to find a love supreme, trying to find a love supreme...

The world posits a million ways to strive for it, but I think that the much searched-for love supreme is manifested in friendships of mutually growing care. At an RCIA Question and Answer session, Father Gary once said that "the highest form of humanity is good conversation," and that always stuck with me because it charted a path to collective holiness. While the logistics of a friendship may be the chatting or the time spent together, the life of a friendship lies in the manifestation of an ecstatic (as in 'out-of-stasis') divinity. It always involves growth. It always involves the building of something holy.

The heartbreaking thing about the end of the year, then, is that these life-giving friendships sometimes have to change and readjust to new circumstances. The spiritual family members we've grown together with are suddenly moving across the country, heading to new ministries, starting different jobs and attending new universities. And although we know the friendships will continue, it hurts that they can't continue exactly as they have. The divine growth is going to have to shoot forth in slightly different ways. Thank heavens for modern communications!

I suppose there is something beautiful about the bittersweetness that comes from deeply caring. I was utterly devastated earlier this week when I realized what painful thing it is to watch a friend/spiritual mentor prepare to leave, but she captured the supreme in an email, writing:

"Heartache is not something I've ever 'gotten used' to, but what I have learned is that it is an indicator that I have loved and been loved... and for that I am most grateful."

God is good, dear friends!

Dissecting the Ten Commandments

I've been reading Gilead, by Marilynne Robinson, and yesterday I came upon a fascinating diatribe from the narrator about the Ten Commandments, particularly "honor thy mother and father". I couldn't copy and paste from the text, and it's a lot to type, so to read what I'm talking about, click the link below, then click on the book cover and search inside the book for "ten commandments." It'll take you to the first page of the diatribe. Great fodder for thought, especially the passage about the ways the commandments have been misused in the past (i.e., to justify slavery).

http://www.amazon.com/Gilead-Novel-Marilynne-Robinson/dp/031242440X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240798683&sr=8-1

Under the Tuscan Moon

I just wanted to share with everyone my excitement about tomorrow's spring event at Oliva on The Hill, which we're calling Under the Tuscan Moon (7-10:00). There are currently 96 people signed up to attend, so we're expecting quite a crowd. The weather is supposed to be beautiful, and I plan on spending my time in the courtyard area.

If you're interested in coming, contact David Montgomery as soon as possible at montgomery@washucsc.org or 314-935-9191 ext. 224. Tickets are $50. I hope to see you there!

(Also, a special thanks to Catering St. Louis for sponsoring this event.)

Rethinking Boredom

Do you think you feel bored? How do you experience your everyday Christianity?

The other day I was bored studying, so I started looking up words in the Oxford English Dictionary... and I found that the words "bored" and "boredom" were only used for the first time in 1852 in a Charles Dickens novel. This fascinated me because most words have very, very long histories going back to the 11th or 12th century. Why is "boredom" such a recent concept? Did people before then have the same feelings of the commonplace, but assume they were the norm rather than something to be described? Or did they feel the commonplace, but see it as neutral or even positive?

When I am doing something and it strikes me that I am bored doing it, suddenly I am less content in it. The concept does not describe, but rather creates a sense of dissatisfaction and impatience. I suddenly worry that I am missing something, that life is supposed to be more exciting, and that I'm supposed to have something in addition going on. But until that moment, I am actually quite happy and absorbed studying, cleaning, cooking, daydreaming or whatever.

Perhaps the newness of the term shows us that we don't have to frame the commonplace as a necessarily negative experience; it's not a given inherent in human experience, but rather an association of just the last hundred years.

What does this mean for our spiritual lives? Although it's good to be striving for holiness, maybe we don't have to freak out and doubt ourselves if there's not much happening at the moment. This past year and a half has been a great one for me as I've learned more about the Catholic faith, started spiritual direction, gone through RCIA, spent the summer with the Carmelites, helped with the Awakening retreat, sponsored in RCIA, etc. My mind has been expanding at a crazy rate and I know the Holy Spirit is in all of this and will be in it in the future.

But I surprised myself the other evening when I was reading about a saint and I suddenly worried that I was bored with it. For some reason, St. Therese just wasn't very interesting at the moment and I didn't even feel in the mood to read about any other saint, either. And I was concerned because this was negative lack, right? What if I was no longer on the edge, no longer on the ever-expanding horizon? What was wrong with me?

I don't know exactly what to make of this, but maybe it's just a moment or just a shift with no crisis attached. Experiencing feelings of the commonplace doesn't have to be framed as "boredom" which is a new term that unfortunately indexes existential negativity.

Maybe Therese will be more interesting tomorrow. Or maybe my new horizon isn't in the lives of the saints but rather in something else the church has to offer. Or maybe God just wants me to be content in the moment. In any case, I'll never say I'm bored, and then I won't be!

Clumsy


It's funny.

I mean it's the peculiar and interesting type of funny funny... and the powerful silence gripping it, grips you. The Grace bluntly revealed by it is quite satisfying to the soul, but clumsy.

Usually it happens as unexpected as a bolt of lightning and equally as startling. It ushers a silence that presses its presence upon you and crushes your will to disturb it. It's peculiar how simply silence establishes its authority with it while re-establishing the authority of the spoken word by virtue of its absence.

It's a delicate, strangely elegant moment with a sharp temptation to say something but... silence says it best. It's clumsy and humbling how Grace gets revealed, shared yet still remains hidden in its silence.

It's interesting how so many dire things become, at this moment, frivolous and inconsequential. Whatever was so pressing, important or unsuitable becomes oddly, irrelevant.

It happened the other day when a friend told a story that took place a long time ago, though time had little affect on him. The story brought to life the clouds that carried the rain which warned of the thunder that echoed the lightning which shattered the silence... and revealed it in a profoundly Graceful way.

Who would have thought seeing a grown man cry could be such a wondrous thing.

Funny.

The Good News

Don't you love it when there's good news but no bad news? This is one of those days.

Thanks to the generosity of all of you who were inspired by our matched collection this Easter, the total collection (pre-match) from this past Easter was $54,401.18. Let me repeat.

$54,401.18

You all are amazing! Thank you so much for your generosity!

(This post was updated on Wednesday, April 15.)

Stripped

Naked He stood stripped on the cold marble floor of Pilate's Praetorium. Surrounded, a garrison of soldiers mocked, spat and crowned Him with thorns. "Crucify Him, Crucify Him!" echoed into the chamber.

Alone, Jesus' heart had to have been racing and chest heaving. Refusing to deny who He was, Jesus responded to His accusers final temptations with silence. (A peek into the third beatitude: meek)

These austere circumstances are revealing. Through this gauntlet, with only faith, trust and love, Jesus carved the eye of a needle He needed to pass through to enter His Kingdom and our Salvation.

Maybe this final stripping of Jesus shows God knows how painful it can be as the world strips its assets, our idols, back from us (think stock market, etc.). And Jesus' path will be the one we take into His Kingdom. The world inevitably disappoints and betrays, leaving you rejected and alone. And that's the good news!

The intent is never suffering for suffering sake.

On the other side, God's peace awaits... the one that surpasses understanding, un-burdens, un-worries, and makes life worth living. It's the peace that teaches you to love in spite of, during and even because of suffering.

Redeemed, there's a thrill of hope and a weary soul rejoices. Nothing of this world will give it to you; and nothing can take it away. Not even a garrison of soldiers.

Saints and Smiles

Catholic religious art is so great, especially with a sense of humor!
Credits go to www.lolsaints.com for great images of the saints we love so much.

The kingdom of heaven... and what's the other one for?



















The Feast of the Annunciation:















Blessing of the animals:
















Lord of the Dance: Holy fashion:

















The original gansta:

The Zoo at Mass

Just thought I'd share a funny story about this past weekend's mass from my personal blog.

http://jameystegmaier.com/2009/04/05/management-tactic-31-the-camel-rule/

Pierced

SilenceHoldsRevealsConcealsEverything.


Confided
Within
Silence
Is
Grace.


The clanging bell tolls with a hollow cowbell sound and like cattle we are summoned to the trough. Overflowing with milk and honey, enough never satisfies, we starve. Victimized by the trillionth promise of safety the world conjures up, we covet. Like Pavlov's dog expecting satisfaction, we drool.

The noise and commotion,
Clatter and clamor
Empty desire and blind ambition
Pulverize silence like a bloody jackhammer.

Blotted transgressions masquerading as grievances and regrets, dreams smolder as the body gets older and vain hopes of the promise of something extra... silence amidst this violence seems preposterous.

Children of Grace, heirs to inheritance
Your prayers have been heard for Holy Innocence.
Faithful to the Solemn Pact
Silence knows its time to act.

The sheer magnitude of silence dwarfs violence and the Grace confided within exposes its folly. Listen.

The church bells ring!
Extolling The Exemption.
The Angels sing!
Of the prodigal's redemption.

Knowing innocence reestablishes our trust in silence, Innocence did. That's when Innocence in Silence absorbed the violence, absolved and then transformed it.

Glory the day when Silence shouted
The violent winds, Grace re-routed.
Laying bare a Love so fierce


Willingly hung Innocence Pierced