Are you a duck?

Have you ever heard someone say, "It's water off a duck's back"?

I have always loved the phrase because it speaks of a self-integrity not willing to be compromised by outside forces. I wonder if Jesus came back from his forty days of temptation in the desert and said to his Apostles, "Yea, that was really tough... really tough. But, hey, it's water off a duck's back, right?" Or maybe, when people scoffed at his miracles and criticized him for doing God's work on the Sabbath, he thought to himself, "Gosh, I was just trying to help that man walk, didn't mean to be offensive - well, it's all water off a duck's back, and I'm glad my brother can walk now." Or even in the good moments, like his entry into Jerusalem when people were shouting 'Hosanna' and praising him for the royal king they thought he'd be; perhaps even then he prayed, "God, it's water off a duck's back. Part of me would love to bask in this adulation and maintain it, but I've got serious work to do for you. I have to remember who I am."

So, are you a duck? Do you shed distractions from God the way that a duck sheds water?

I don't mean to promote imperviousness as a kind of stubbornness or self-righteousness; it's all too easy to fall into an attitude, which is not at all holy, of "I'm right and I don't care what anybody thinks, because I'm right." Rather, I mean the kind of imperviousness that maintains our core identity as holy creations. This is something that should be protected and defended, and sometimes it takes self-confidence to hold true to our best selves.

Today, for example, would have been a good day for me to be a Catholic duck. This afternoon my Dad was in a bad mood, which, of course, happens to all of us at some point or another. But he was being just awful to my mom, and then kept baiting me about being Catholic and kept hounding me on the issue of my conversion last year, angry about various positions the Catholic church has taken on topics like the death penalty .... on and on, kept following me around yelling in my face no matter where I tried to find a place to study in the house. I'm normally pretty good at tuning stuff out and staying serene on the inside, but for some reason, today I just felt unbearably frustrated and couldn't keep it at bay. I walked out the door and walked around my neighborhood for about an hour, shaking because I was so mad.

I imagine that hell is having the worst brought out in us. Hell is probably the agony of being reduced to our worst, most impatient, most frustrated, most stupid selves. On my walk this afternoon, I was nothing more than a creature of irritation, rended into anger by a stupid situation; now it was me who was in a bad mood. It was a long while before I was able to regain my calm and sense anything like a soul within me. And to think that I let my soul get so unsettled and hateful, so utterly unholy, by jibes against my Catholicism! How ironic. Where was the solid Catholic duck that stays loyal to its own holy dignity no matter what? Where was the solid Catholic duck that keeps its soul in love with the God who is Love, no matter what?

Anything that would trickle into our souls and divert us from the heart of God should be shed like a duck sheds water. It's not wrong to feel irritated or frustrated in a passing way, but our beings, on the level of heart and soul and identity, must be unshakeably sealed in Love.

A prayer:
Dear God, thank you for life. Please seal us in your holy integrity, so that, no matter what situations we find ourselves in, we can always be true to ourselves in you. You have called us to be holy in many contexts - happiness, worry, growth, defense, support, joy, criticism, etc. - so help us remember that these are only contexts and not the substance of our Love. St. Paul wrote, "I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances, I have learned the secret of being well fed and going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through the One who strengthens me." So strengthen us, God, and seal yourself within our hearts. Thanks! Amen.